Well, yesterday wasn't so much fun. It was the first 4th of July I have spent without Wayne in 15 years. Everyone was having fun, laughing and having a good time. I smiled when I could, but I was recalling our last 4th of July and how much fun it was, celebrating with our son, Ryan. I recalled our whole trip down to NC last year and how Ryan and I were here and Wayne flew down to be with us. The flights were all jammed up and his flight was cancelled. He had to get a connection flight and flew into Charlotte. He said he would never fly around holiday time again. It was an all day affair to get here, but Wayne would go to any length to be with us. He complained and moaned about the long day, but once he saw Ryan and I, all was forgotten. It was well worth the trip.
I have been doing more reading in the last couple of days then in the last few years. I am discovering that even though his physical person is not here for us to see and touch, he is still here. The reading helps to heal my pain and believe there is a way we will be able to connect again. Not our usual day together, but a way to understand that he exists still, on another plane, that we can't see, but believe in.
I'm sure people don't usually discuss things of this nature, but since his passing, there have been too many things happening in my life that would be considered "considences". I have learned thru reading, that his spirit is so strong, that he wants everyone he loves to Know he is still with us. loves us and that we will be together again. If anyone in my life was going to be that strong, it would be Wayne. He left a lot of unfinished business and words unsaid. He's not leaving here silently.
I am getting a bit homesicK and plan to go home tomorrow. I feel disconnected a bit, being away from home. We have been gone for awhile and I want to go home. Home to be closer to Wayne. It has been a nice time down here and I need for us to get away for awhile, but now is the time to go home, face the music and try to start a new life path for Ryan and I. I will always have Wayne's thoughts, plans and how he would handle situations in mind. I promise him to raise Ryan the best that I can. To be sure he becomes a great man liKe his father. That when it is my time to go, Wayne will be waiting for me and tell me that I did a great job and have made him proud. I will continue to live my life, wondering when it will be my time to go and that I want him to remain to be proud of me and what we set out to accomplish.
I guess that's all if have for now. I could always go on, but I would find myself getting more sad by the minute. I enjoy writting about my wonderful husband and want to be sure his memory is strong and never forgotten. He will never be forgotten by me!
Have a nice Tuesday....
I have been doing more reading in the last couple of days then in the last few years. I am discovering that even though his physical person is not here for us to see and touch, he is still here. The reading helps to heal my pain and believe there is a way we will be able to connect again. Not our usual day together, but a way to understand that he exists still, on another plane, that we can't see, but believe in.
I'm sure people don't usually discuss things of this nature, but since his passing, there have been too many things happening in my life that would be considered "considences". I have learned thru reading, that his spirit is so strong, that he wants everyone he loves to Know he is still with us. loves us and that we will be together again. If anyone in my life was going to be that strong, it would be Wayne. He left a lot of unfinished business and words unsaid. He's not leaving here silently.
I am getting a bit homesicK and plan to go home tomorrow. I feel disconnected a bit, being away from home. We have been gone for awhile and I want to go home. Home to be closer to Wayne. It has been a nice time down here and I need for us to get away for awhile, but now is the time to go home, face the music and try to start a new life path for Ryan and I. I will always have Wayne's thoughts, plans and how he would handle situations in mind. I promise him to raise Ryan the best that I can. To be sure he becomes a great man liKe his father. That when it is my time to go, Wayne will be waiting for me and tell me that I did a great job and have made him proud. I will continue to live my life, wondering when it will be my time to go and that I want him to remain to be proud of me and what we set out to accomplish.
I guess that's all if have for now. I could always go on, but I would find myself getting more sad by the minute. I enjoy writting about my wonderful husband and want to be sure his memory is strong and never forgotten. He will never be forgotten by me!
Have a nice Tuesday....
1 comment:
Wayne will always be with you and Ryan. His zest for life and the special bonds of love and devotion you shared together and with Ryan will remain forever.
His strength is your strength now.
He watches over you, always the protector.
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