Well tonight I went to a grief group. I was the youngest one their, by half their ages. I was worried at first and didn't think I would fit in. I quickly noticed that pain and suffering comes in all forms. Most of the people there lost their spouses to long bouts of illness. My loss was sudden and unexpected. I think going helped a bit. I realized many other people are going thru the same thing and we are all at different stages.
So, what shall I write about Wayne tonight? I guess I'll talk about fatherhood for Wayne. He has 4 children; Dwayne, Michaela, Jimmy and Ryan. Wayne loved the outdoors. He loved to hunt with Dwayne and Jimmy. He would get excited every Fall when it was time to get back out in the woods. He traveled with his son Dwayne, to New York state each year to hunt with some of his State Police buddies. This made Wayne happy. To hunt with his son and hang out with the guys. He wouldn't miss it for the world. He liked if there was snow on the ground, he said it made it more peaceful. I would always wish him "Good shooting" and he would be like a little kid and ask "Will I Score?" I always said yes, because I knew he would have the patience to wait in the cold for the perfect buck. He had the desire and control to wait hours on end to get the perfect buck. Wayne wouldn't just shoot for the kill. He wanted something good, something he could tell people about. He was a great hunter and would always comment on how people could just shoot small bucks just for the kill. This bothered him. He wasn't taught to hunt that way. He passed this skill on to his son Dwayne and he has perfected it even more.
Wayne enjoyed hunting with his son Jimmy. As he has gotten older, he hasn't hunted much. Wayne missed hunting with him and always hoped he would get back into it. Hunting is a Pedrick family tradition. Wayne also enjoyed coaching football when Jimmy was in the Falcons. He loved doing anything he could with Jimmy and sports always seemed to be their thing.
Wayne's daughter Michaela, is a beautiful woman and Wayne enjoyed watching her grow from his "Little Girl", to a who she is today. Wayne and Michaela were very close. Not a day went by that she didn't make him laugh or put a smile on his face. She is very independent and made Wayne proud with her accomplishments. They enjoyed when they had the opportunity to go shopping together. He would go anywhere with her, as long as she went to Costco with him. He loved to go and walk around with no purpose. He liked "looking".
Wayne had raised his 3 children right and was enjoying retirement. Along came Ryan. Wayne was so proud to have a new son and so was I. We didn't care if we had a boy or girl, as long as they were healthy. Wayne didn't want to know the sex of our child and I wanted to. After a few months, I got excited about not knowing also. I can honestly look back and say that not knowing was the greatest present ever. It made it all the more exciting. Wayne was the one to announce in the delivery room that we had a son. His name is Ryan Ford Pedrick. We both agreed we liked the name Ryan, after Ryan Newman (#12 NASCAR driver) Ford is because daddy could have had a new truck or a baby and he chose to have a baby.
Wayne was such a wonderful father to Ryan. I was very afraid of having this new life in our hands to take care of. He assured me it would be okay and I would be a great mom. One night after my mom left to go home, Ryan was 11 days old. Wayne was working and I slept out in the living room so we wouldn't disturb him. Ryan awoke and was crying. I couldn't get him to stop. I tried everything. It had to be 2am and I stood in the middle of our living room, holding Ryan and crying along with him. All of the sudden, Wayne was holding us and telling me it would be okay. He took Ryan and rocked him for over an hour, until he fell back to sleep. That was the defining moment of my new motherhood that I knew it was going to be okay. Wayne gave me the confidence I needed.
Wayne and I enjoyed watching every new moment in Ryan's life. We were blessed as a family, that with Wayne being retired, he got to spend everyday with Ryan and I. Even though it was landscaping season, Wayne would go out and work and stop in between jobs to see how we were doing. We had the perfect life. Wayne couldn't stay away too long during the day, because he said he missed us. I had to make him go to work sometimes.
Wayne had this amazing patience that he taught me. I use to be a bit uptight and have very little patience. Being a mom made all of that change. When I would get flusterd, I could look over at Wayne and he would just smile his big "Wayne" smile and I was okay.
I know we were blessed that Wayne got almost a whole year to spend with Ryan everyday. He truly loved being a "daddy" again and I know Ryan was the apple of his eye. Ryan is a "Daddy's Boy" and sometimes I got jealous, because I changed all his diapers and gave birth to him. Ryan would drop me like a hot potato when Daddy walked into the room. (It really didn't bother me, I just busted his hump)
A lot of people say that Ryan looks just like Wayne and I hope he grows up to look like him. Wayne was the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on. I hope that Ryan takes after his Daddy and enjoys the outdoors, sports (The Yankees) and hunting. I know his brothers will teach him all the in's and out's of both, since they are both gifted with both.
Wayne also became a Grandfather to two beautiful children, Zachary and Jordy. They are Dwayne and Laura's children. He was so proud to be called "Pop-Pop". He loved seeing the excitement in their eyes for birthday's and Christmas. On Christmas two years ago, Zachary had a cold. We went over in the morning to see the presents that Santa left. Zachary wasn't too into opening presents and this made Wayne hurt inside. That night as we were having Christmas dinner, a tear rolled down his cheek. I asked what was wrong. He was still so sad and heartbroken inside that Zachary wasn't feeling well on Christmas.
Wayne was a very caring man and ALWAYS put others and their feelings before his own. He loved the Christmas season and wanted to see everyone happy.
Thank you for taking the time to read about my husband. I enjoy writing about him and it brings a smile to my face as I think about all the memories that we shared Wayne was an amazing person and I know his passing is very difficult for all of people who's lives he touched. Please check back often for more posts.
Kind regards, Kim
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