7 months ago

Wow, I can't believe it is 7 months today, that Wayne passed away. Time just keeps ticking and ticking and I haven't had a moment to really stand still and reflect on what has happened. That could be a good thing or a bad thing. Good, that I keep going and have not laid down and died.

I still miss Wayne every minute of everyday, that hasn't changed. It is getting very difficult with Christmas 2 weeks away. I think that's when I'll see a melt down inside. We so loved Christmas, being with our family and friends and most of all, each other. I don't know any other man, who put as much time and effort into Christmas, as Wayne did. He Loved Christmas very much. He loved to shop for others and just liked to go shopping and walk around and look. Not me, I have to go shopping with a purpose.

Waking up Christmas morning, without him by my side, being the first one to wish me a Merry Christmas and come out to open presents with, it going to hurt alot. I'd give up ever having another Christmas or anything, just to have him back.

....A funny story

....The first Christmas Wayne and I had together, he was working and had taken my gift to the Police Station to wrap it. It was dark out, when he walked out the station door. His police car was parked up against the curb. He had gotten me a stereo system and in was in a pretty big box. Wayne had misjudged how far he was away from the curb and stepped down, his foot got wedged between the curb and tire and lost his balance. He fell backwards onto the sidewalk. I will always remember him telling me, "God, I hope no one drives by" because here was a cop, laying flat on his back on the curb of the Police Station, with a big box on top of his chest.

Writing this now, make me laugh to think about it.It is memories like that, that turn the sadness I started out with writing this, into a moment, where I have a smile on my face. I had 15 amazing years with Wayne. 15 amazing Christmas's and now I have to contiune on having fun with our son Ryan. I know Wayne would do that for him and me, if the roles were reveresed. Anyway, just felt like writing tonight. Thanks for reading, as always.